MortarBlog

Penny's produces a pixelated product promotion.

 

JC Penny's DorkDodge is supposed to promote their new dorm-centric line via 1992-style pixelated RPG. I'll admit it has some retro charm and actually kept me sort of entertained, but I have a few qualms:

1) The entire premise of the game. You're a college girl trying to meet up with your Christian Slater-lookin date, who is slowly losing interest outside your dorm. On the way outside, various college boys try to hit on you, and if you even vaguely engage them, they follow you unless you bug your girlfriend for a product-oriented solution. If you somehow fail to make it outside in time, your date ditches you. You have six minutes. It took me 40 seconds.

2) Are college girls seriously this lame? ....actually, nevermind. I vaguely remember when I was a college girl, um, two months ago.

3) How do I know Jason is any better than all the other guys who are totally into me? Maybe they're not that bad. I mean, they followed me all the way outside. That's more than Jason would ever do for me.  I don't even think he likes me that much. I mean he wouldn't even wait six minutes for me! WTF?

4) Who can even afford college anymore anyway?

5) The acting. You just have to play it yourself to understand. 

6) It encourages college girls to be even lamer than they already are by letting them think a) that knowing how to impress a diverse range of people will only result in them obsessively stalking you, b) that the only guys who are worth it are impatient, Christian-Slater lookin jerkholes, and c) that you should always take the advice of obnoxious baret-wearing French chicks. Not to mention every character is a blatant, shallow stereotype. Including yourself, if you maintain a winning strategy.

But you know what, I played it, and at least it took up an hour of my time by giving me something to blog/complain about. That would be one hour, forty seconds total.
And they did get me to link it - even suggest that you play it.

So... kudos to the team that made this, and sorry the original post was kinda mean. Maybe I'm just jealous because I never had a hot date with an impatient Christian Slater-lookin jerkhole in college. And he never brought me flowers, either. Jerk.

Thanks AdRants.

Totally Visceral, Totally Viral

This is the best! I have no idea what they are saying, or what the ad is for, but it doesn't matter one bit - what a hoot!

Click here to watch the video.

Gain an "Optical Inch"

Think nothing's wrong with your overgrown Twig & Berries? Think again...

Men, in our infinite mulish simplemindedness, tend to think all body parts are just supposed to work and all the stuff growing on our backs and thighs and groinal regions looks damn fine as it is no matter how tangled and shaggy and utterly extraterrestrial it might appear and how often our lovers cringe and shudder at the sight of us naked. Besides, there's little we can do about it anyway. Right?

Wrong.

Gaze, won't you, at Philips Norelco's latest and surprisingly bold viral Internet ad campaign from 2006, found on www.shaveeverywhere.com

Have some fun on the site... I recommend the music video.

And be sure to read the entire hilarious article "How To Shave The Modern Male: In which a helpful corporate giant encourages you to please groom your crotch."  By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist.

Boston flips the bird to Cartoon Network.

eBay has Mooninites for $1,215.00.

What? You missed that two operatives for New York-based Interference Inc. are being prosecuted for executing a guerilla stunt for Adult Swim?

The campaign brought Boston to a stand still yesterday.

The neon systems featured exposed wires and batteries -- sparking what was tantamount to the biggest bomb scare since 9/11.  CNN reports:

"Peter Berdovsky and Sean Stevens were released on $2,500 bail, said Mike Rich, their attorney. The next pretrial hearing is scheduled for March 7. Both men were cooperative with authorities, and neither has a previous criminal record in Massachusetts, Grossman said.

At a news conference after the hearing, Stevens and Berdovsky stepped to the microphones and said they were taking questions only about 1970s hairstyles.

When a reporter accused them of not taking the situation seriously, Stevens responded, "We're taking it very seriously." Asked another question about the case, Stevens reiterated they were answering questions only about hair and accused the reporter of not taking him and Berdovsky seriously.

Reporters did not relent and as they continued, Berdovsky disregarded their queries, saying, "That's not a hair question. I'm sorry."

Um. No. We're not making this up. See full article here.

Hey Julie, looks like there will be an opening at Turner very soon....

Mini? Me?

Pushing one-to-one marketing to yet another level, innovative marketer Mini has launched a series of talking billboards.

The billboards identify Minis via  a coded radio signal embedded in the car's key fob.

"As drivers approach, a customized message flashes on the billboard. "Hi Jackie! Don't crash the car." comments Church of the Customer Blog.

"The messages are personal, based on questionnaires that owners filled out: “Mary, moving at the speed of justice,” if Mary is a lawyer, or “Mike, the special of the day is speed,” if Mike is a chef....

Elf yourself: 11 people a second.

Am I the only person who didn't realize the  ElfYourself promotion was designed to promote OfficeMax as a gifting destination.

Um. That's a long freaking road to hoe.

What kind of person gives office supplies for Xmas?

Still, reports abound ElfYourself was a huge hit with traffic peaking at 11 people a second.

And there I was thinking the whole point was to make us feel good about OfficeMax. Apparently, that is no longer a viable marketing goal.

Read more about  Elf's success on Ad Age here. Oh and see the thing itself here.

Will it blend? Blendtec pushes product demos to an entirely new level.

Marvel as these guys demonstrate their blender by blending oh, magnets. And golf clubs. Dancing princesses.  Light blubs (see the friction generating electricity).

Blending veggies is for woosies. Seriously. This is freaking cool. Tom Dickson is my new hero.

Thanks for the post Chris!

Dating sites cross the chasm. Older dates lead Match.com subscription growth.

"After years of losing subscribers to racier rivals and new social-networking sites geared to young singles, Match has become the largest online dating site in the U.S. by subscriptions, with 1.3 million members. One big reason: older daters like Mrs. Williams."  writes Sarah Silver in Saturday's Journal.

Choice points include:

The Viral Learning Center is taking applications. Enroll today.

PR works: survey of online shoppers provides measure of PR success.

Here's an idea for those of you PR doubters. Why not ask site visitors how they came to hear of your site?

A recent survey of holiday buyers on a client's ecommerce Website revealed that nearly one third of site visitors can be attributed to PR activity. Verbatim from the email:

"Just thought you’d like to see the responses to one of the questions I slipped in the survey we ran with 4th quarter buyers:

Question: How did you first hear about XYZ.com?

And of those who answered other it was pretty much 1/3 article 1/3 website 1/3 crazy

This tells me close to 30%  (article + TV+ Other)  found us based on PR type activities.   At least that is my interpretation..."

Careful readers will note that the site attracted 3,800 buyers, too.  Want to know more, contact MortarPR here.