MortarBlog

Do NOT play these guys in Beer Pong.

Enjoy.

April Fool's Day: in-uh-proh-pree-it?

I've never thought of agency folk as tightwads, but apparently some of our fellow ad peeps have deemed April Fool's Day jokes inappropriate for the workplace:

“Employees tempted to fill the boss’s office with balloons or plant whoopee cushions in their coworkers’ chairs this April Fools’ Day may want to think twice. Seven out of 10 (71 percent) marketing executives polled by The Creative Group consider April Fools’ jokes unsuitable for the office. The responses were more evenly split among advertising executives, with about half (51 percent) finding workplace pranks appropriate versus 45 percent who gave a thumbs down.” (courtesy of Agency Spy)

But never fear. "Inappropriate" is our favorite buzzword at the Mortar:

in·ap·pro·pri·ate /ˌɪnəˈproʊpriɪt/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[in-uh-proh-pree-it]
–adjective 
not proper or suitable; highly entertaining and worthy of praise.

Who wants to Vaseline the doorknobs and saran wrap the toilet seats with me?

Ashes to...er, Gemstones?

Barnbrook Design of London has just completed an identity project for a Japanese company called Dignity that hails as the first truly contemporary funeral director. Along with their funeral home, Dignity has plans for a branded ambulance, gravestones, and a couple less traditional offerings. Here's where it gets weird.

First, Dignity t-shirts. For retail purchase. I understand the whole "as stylish in death as in life," but, "as stylish in life by promoting how stylish you'll be in death"? I'm not so sure.

Now for the true kicker. Gemstones made from... the ashes of the deceased. Um, yuck. Have we really come to a point in society that our prized self-image lives well beyond our departure? A fancy box or urn to rest in is one thing, but a set of studs for our kids to pass on so we're present at our grandchildrens' weddings? I'm officially creeped out.

But, this does point to a trend that I'm sure will continue - the careful management of our self-image through what we buy, join, and associate with. It's a longstanding phenomena, but what's changing is the scope. We're seeing parents managing their kids' personal image from the moment they're born (think Myspace for tots), and we're just beginning to see the tip of what's possible for managing one's identity in death and beyond.

Courtesy of CR Blog.

speech bubble logos, oh my

Anyone notice the rabbit-like explosion of speech bubble logos in this crazy Web 2.0 world? If you haven't, the folks over at eachday will be kind enough to show you a horrifying collection (pointed out by IF!). And, they've got a good point:

Yes, speech bubbles communicate all the warm fuzzies of connection, dialogue, messaging, community, collaboration, social media, etc. of Web 2.0 applications. Unfortunately, and rather like rabbits or pigeons, there are simply too many speech bubble logos in existence. It's officially overdone. Sorry.

Here's a small sample of the expansive speech bubble family from eachday's post.

Brand Quiz: Is your brand a sucking, swirling eddy of despair?

We launched our much-anticipated Mortar 360 brand quiz today.

Click through to test your brand management prowess against the Web's most advanced (and we might say pithy) brand analysis tool.

Name our new receptionist.

Our latest hire needs a moniker. Suggestions?

New puzzler! Submit your ridiculous agency emails.

Inspired by the truly inane (but no doubt true) posts of actual idotic agency and client comments on Adverbatims.com we are pleased to announce our new puzzler.

Send in your inane agency and client messages and the winner will receive, yes you guessed it, $50 in Fandango tickets. Contest starts now. And it closes a week from today. Judging will be by an independent party, most probably not me but definitely a Mortar employee.

To get you started here are a few choice items from Adverbatims:

“They loved it but the want to change the pictures, headline and design.”
(Agency, Account Executive)

“Can you ask the announcer to produce a whispering scream?”
(Client, Area Manager, during the recording of a radio spot)

“POS? What the fuck is that, another word you made up?”
(Agency, Account Executive)

“Make it wild but conservative!”
(Agency, Account Executive, to Art Director)

“Before negotiating something, I practice in the shower“
(Client, Marketing Assistant)

“There’s an X crossing the photo. When you send me the final art, it’s not going to be there, is it?”
(Client, Area Manager)

“Can you change the word ‘exquisite’ on the ad? Words including the letter X are way too complicated.”
(Client, Marketing Manager)

“It’s amazing how well you interpreted the brief. This piece is exactly what we wanted, you could not have made it any better, I love it. But I also think it’s too good. This is for a bigger client, a more international one. We’re not like that. See if you can do something shittier that we can use.”
(Client, same Marketing Manager)

“This is a picture of how I want the ad. I had to draw it in a napkin.”
(Client, same Marketing Manager)

And my absolute favorite:

"You’re going to rape every piece of crap on the shelf.”
(Client, Marketing Assistant, optimist about a colleague’s future product launch)

Enter your entries below or email them to me.

Fun with stationery.

These are stills from a new promotional site for an office supply company, Viking (no relation to the cooker company we suspect).  The first two were a snap, but I'm buggered if I can figure out number three (below).

Click through here to see the site and wonder at the possibilities of stationery art.

 

Google seeks smarties

Mortar's Communication Planner, Nick told me about this billboard for Google.

Not content with straightforward help wanted ads, Google designed its own promotion for eggheads in Boston and Silicon Valley back in 2004.

Apparently, the solution to this puzzle is a URL address for an an even harder problem.

I'll save you some hassle, the answer of course is  7427466391 (yeah, I looked it up, on Google of course).

Its nice to see an advertiser have the confidence to challenge its audience.

 

The puzzle of Red Bull

The all white jigsaw from Red Bull says it all. 

With a can of Red Bull anything is possible.

Direct mail program posted on AdvertisingforPeanuts Blog. Credit to 10AM Communications, Singapore.

I would imagine this has to be a trade promotion judging by the cost of production.