Category: Guerilla Marketing
May 27th, 2011

Hit The Deck. No, Seriously – Hit It With Something.


Stick figures: They make moves. Never-ever-ever do they fake moves.

InFocus Labs, a projector company (that Mortar has probably kept in business for years due to a certain British person's predilection for misplacing projectors,) recently sponsored a Worst PowerPoint Slide Contest. It's awesomely bad.  

But hey, it's Memorial Day weekend, which is awesomely good! We hope you enjoy it, and remember: our pals at are waiting patiently to supply the chow for that party you're throwing – it sure beats cooking!

March 2nd, 2011

Dear GoPro: Your Spot Is Done.


Hi, is this the GoPro marketing team? It is? There’s this guy down in Valparaiso, Chile – we’re pretty sure he just shot your next commercial.

Love, Mortar.


P.S. You might want to hurry up and get it on the air before Dramamine, Bell Helmets or Cesar Millan steal your thunder.


Via Deadspin.

January 20th, 2011

Long Copy For A Long Car. screen capture 2011-1-20-11-41-43


We did not wake up this morning wanting to buy a limo. But if we had, this fine Lincoln for just $1,500 would certainly be tempting. Particularly when we read the amazing copy in this Craigslist ad we saw on Jalopnik. Highlights below.

"This is a 1985 Lincoln Town Car St. Tropez edition limousine. It was built by American Custom Coach has about a 60" stretch and has a dual bench interior configuration…The interior is an appropriate red velvet and could use some refurbishing as unspeakable things have more-than-likely taken place over the interior's 25 years in the biz…The car was recently given a custom exhaust system that exits from corvette tips right behind the front wheels, giving the beast a bark to match its bite. Based on the exhaust system alone the car gets attention; however, should passersby be hearing impaired the custom paint job does the trick.

The exterior is a four piece ode to Americana. The top is a period (1980's) appropriate zebra stripe that beckons "I'm Here to Party" in a primal yet classy manner. The sides represent the duality of modern life as fire and water in a kind of graffiti-chic way. On the hood you will find a fresh take on the classic american phoenix or fire bird with a matte black background that sends an important message to would be communists, terrorists or illegal immigrants foolish enough to be in front of you. That message is, "This is America, Get the Fuck out of my way!" As you approach the rear of the vehicle you are whisked into another universe as you peer into an eery space-scape that typifies the mystery associated with the final frontier. Overall the art on the car gives the audience a taste of the warm apple pie that is America, plus it looks totally bad-ass.

This car is quite the value in this day and age. With the purchase of this vehicle you get: priceless artwork, the ability to carry up to 8 people in style and comfort, and most importantly admission into the elite class of limo owners. This car redefines social mobility (see what I did there with the double entendre) All I ask in return for this car is 1500 dollars but I will entertain any trades or offers not from Nigerian princes."


Burning Man-types, we think you'll agree – this car was born for the playa.
Make it happen. (But stop by the Mortar first.)





December 7th, 2010

The Hills Are All The Way Live.

So you're on the Chamber of Commerce of a town with a name that makes people think of a federal prison in another state. And you probably don't have dumptrucks full of money to drop on a tourism campaign. What do you do? What do you do!?

Well, if you're Leavenworth, Washington, you show a little spine. (Also: cleavage. But still.) Well done.

Next time we're up Seattle-way? It's on – Woody Goomsba style. Ein prosit!

Via AdRants. Produced by HowellAtTheMoon. (groan.)

June 1st, 2010

If This Is A Dream, Don’t Wake Us Up.

Run for the hills! Pablo is really really mad about hitting into so many double-plays! That's what this is, right? Right? No? It's just a teaser for King-Kong 360-3D? Sigh. It was a beautiful dream for a minute there.

Thanks for nothing, Adrants.