Y'all know we're tight with the good people at Bacon Salt, right? They're not our client or anything (ahem, nudge-nudge,) but they're our homies. So we were psyched out of our minds to see Baconnaise get possibly the World's Longest Plug on The Daily Showlast night. It starts here at about 3:45.
All good, right? Then, at about 2:14, this happened.
Um...ouch! First off, we'd like to say, "Nuh-uh, all things Bacon Salt are good." Second off, we'd like to tell the kids at Bacon Salt to keep their heads up - the Daily Show audience is widely populated by...how do we say this? People who are predisposed to eating stuff. Because they're unusually hungry.
(Paging Michael Phelps. Michael Phelps to a white courtesy phone...)
So when Baconnaise made its first appearance, we could hear a collective "Duuuuuuuuuuuuude, we gotta get some of that!" ring out across the nation. (OK, so we could also hear the "On second thought..." across the nation, too. But it wasn't as loud.) In fact, we (Ok, they,) even have consumer video proving conclusively that Baconnaise does not make your tongue...you know.
"American commercials go from the head to the wallet, British ones
from the head to the heart, French, from the heart to the head...We stress sex and wit in our
ads because that’s our culture,” Mr. Martin, the union chief, said.
“Advertising is about presenting an idealized view of its audience. And
this is who we would like to think we are.”"
This very interesting article makes us wonder - are the French really that much more soulful, or are we just so much more used to television advertising that we expect a certain Setup/Punchline/Sell paradigm to be obeyed?
Have a glass of wine, ponder the hopelessness of existence and let us know your thoughts.
When we heard GM had decided to turn the storied Pontiac name into "a “focused brand” with fewer models," it really ground our gears. How on earth do you kill a brand that brought us cars like this?
Or this?
Oh. By making cars like this:
Now, we quite agree that GM needs to trim some fat. Probably, they should just focus on Cadillac and Chevy. Yet they've decided to get rid of Saturn - the only decent American cars of the last 15 years - and keep Buick? Why? So the rest of us can know not to get stuck behind one? What do we think of when we see a Buick? How about: "Hang On A Second, I Gotta Pass Grandma."
But the plot thickens: From the 1954 Willys we drove in high school to the random Merkurs, MGBs and Studebakers we see on the road today, enthusiasts keep the brands they're passionate about in a sort of otherworldly automotive limbo. Neither dead nor alive, these zombie car brands never really die, no matter how hard their creators try to kill them. (We're looking at you, Zombie Oldsmobile.) Kinda curious, no?
Anyway, here's hoping Pontiac gets its mojo back - it shouldn't be so easy to kill brands people write songs about.
Did you notice we got through that entire post without making a "braaaaaaaains" joke? Probably because we're talking about GM.
What's gotten into Mazda? Did their parents go out or something? First, they decide to not freak out about Michael Phelps, then they run this for Canadian grads. Can't they see...it's a print ad?
Hey, remember back at Christmas, the Holiday Recession Kit? Well, it’s back, now in Minty-Fresh Non-Holiday Form. We made a couple slight changes: The Magic 8-Ball that leaked all over the place is gone, replaced by dice. Much handier in a recession. And the liquor is replaced by a coupon for liquor, which is also much handier, because it puts our crack bartending team at your service, and they make a mean cocktail. So visit the site, fill out the form, and let’s have a drink. Or start a crap game. It’s a good way to network, and a better way to stave off the impending apocalypse.
"Give us the drink coupons and just walk away!"
After all, we’ve got to stick together in times like these. Now more than ever.
MORTARBLOG: OK, first up, "Huluwood," starring Alec Baldwin for Hulu.com.
LEE MARVIN: ""An evil plot to destroy the world." Yeah. That's funny. You mushbrains keep riiiiight on laughing."
AOK: ""Mushy-mushy." I wike it. Keeps evwyone fwom knowing about my evil pwot for world."
MORTARBLOG: OK, so Hulu's a winner. Next up, Sobe, with "Lizard Lake."
LEE MARVIN: (stares angrily, jacks round into .45 automatic.)
AOK: (stares angrily, jacks round into adorable little .45 automatic)
MORTARBLOG: Wow. You guys really hated that one.
LEE MARVIN: "These better get better."
AOK: "Word."
MORTARBLOG: We're probably not in the demographic. I'm sure it will sell a lot of...drink. (adjusts collar, wipes brow) Is it hot in here? OK, next up - some old friends for Cash4Gold.com
LEE MARVIN: "Hmm. I might know where a few gold teeth are...lying around. Not bad."
AOK: "Wecession sad."
MORTARBLOG: Amen to that, Kitten. Wecession sad indeed. Maybe some flowers will cheer us up. Let's take a look at this spot from Teleflora.
LEE MARVIN: "'The competition's flowers aren't just lame, they're destructive and evil.' Now that's a strategy you can do something with. I like it."
AOK:"WHO YOU CAWLIN 'FAT AND SMEWWY' PAL!? YOU WANT A PIECE OF THIS!?"
LEE MARVIN: "Easy, kid. Easy. Too many witnesses."
MORTARBLOG: OK, split decision on that one. Kitten, I know you'll love this one, isn't this guy your cousin?
LEE MARVIN: "I usually only eat mescal worms or the still-beating hearts of my enemies, but I gotta say, I might have a side of Cheetos next time."
AOK: "Cousin Chester funny. Gwad he got out of wehab."
MORTARBLOG: OK, so we like the Cheetos. Speaking of old friends, let's take a look at the resolution of that Denny's spot we teased last week:
LEE MARVIN: "See? What did I tell you. Nice setup - weak resolution."
AOK: (curls up in chair, sleeps)
MORTARBLOG: Huh. No love for the pancakes. OK guys, two minutes in the fourth quarter, down by three...CareerBuilder:
LEE MARVIN: "Somebody called me "dummy" at work once. Once. Funny ad, though."
AOK: "Purrrrrrrr."
MORTARBLOG: Well there you go - five we liked, one we hated, and one we-told-you-so. Congratulations to the Pittsburgh Steelers, and thanks to both of you. Two weeks until pitchers and catchers report!
